Heir (to my son Jacob)

in my darkest of hours, she was with me, she was there
that she too had problems herself, i didn’t seem to care
and together we laid in a bed, in a hollywood motel lair
and went on our separate ways, our own lives to repair

months later i get an e-mail from her, all in despair
"i’m having a child by you, remember the night we paired?"
i said what do you want me to do? i’m ill, going nowhere
and so she took care of it all. an abortion? au contraire

she brought a boy into this world, with no malice,
    which is quite rare
while he was growing inside of her, i spent time in a
    place of stale air:
a jail cell with thirty other men, with hardly
    any room to spare

i told my girlfriend of a long time what i ought not dare
she told me "what the hell kind of man are you,
    some kind of corsair?
and bring an unwanted child into the world isn’t
    right, just wouldn’t be fair"

it seemed the only thing to do at this point was just
    pull out all of my hair

my boy’s been adopted by someone, don’t know whom,
    don’t know where
when you grow up my son and seek out me,
    please do not glare
for you are gift from the lord above, just like
    a thoroughbred mare

and when the day comes and you ask me why it was,
    trust me for all that i bare
how i wished things were different, but with what
    is there to compare?

you are here for a reason, perhaps with me to pare
the mystery of life and all she doth bring,
    just like Baudelaire

i haven’t stopped on my journey, and at night
    i say a prayer
of thanks to your mother, whose graciousness are
    like an Astaire
and how blessed i am you’re in this world,
    someone at whom i’ll soon stare